18 days until Ocean City

I decided to plan a mini vacation for Josh and I. Joshua loves loves loves chirstmas. He has never been to OC in the winter. I think it is such a beautiful site. The ocean foams all up and all the hotels that are still open decorate the lobbies with trees and garland. We are staying on 12th street. We have an indoor pool and sauna. Restaurant and bar at the hotel also! 4 days of pure relaxation.

They have free horse and carriage rides on the 5th and 6th. I think that will be a must to do while we are there. Check out the mall, maybe they will decorate too. The lights at victorian christmas. And a christmas parade on the 5th too!

Thrashers will still be serving the fries. Bull on the beach has the 94th street location open. Yum!

I cannot wait!

Distortion Radio <3 + Craftiness

My new love is Distortion Radio. Based out of Maryland this internet radio station features so many bands that do not get played on mainstream radio. And some bands that do. I have found many new bands to fall in love with. Give it a try. http://www.distortionradio.com/.

I have been working on many many projects for christmas and stuff just because I want to.

Moms christmas blanket = done. Joshes embroidery = 50%. Aunts scarf = 25%. Cousins bolero = 50%. Best friends project =40%. Slippers for my great aunts = done. I hope that they like them.

A project still not fully finished is the bathroom in our house. My mom had painted it mint julep green about 13 years ago. I thought it really needed a facelift. So, with the help of my boyfriend, we went for it. Sanding the semi-gloss paint was a real 'blast'.

Armed with brushes and rollers. Fresh and new tan paint and mocha borders. I need to find new 'furniture' aka shelving. I am going for a beachy theme. I want to go more the surfer route, but seashells and sand dunes will work for now. Another coat of paint will really make me happy :)

How cruel, craftster swapper!

I am a member of Craftster.org. It is an online community where you can post pictures, chat, learn, etc about all your craftiness. You can also participate in swaps. In the swap forum you can find something that interests you. They are all different themes. I have done 3 of these swaps.

Over a year ago I participated in a simple swap because it was my first one. The theme: Dishcloth/Washcloth. You fill out a questionnaire: your likes/dislikes, abilities, favorite colors. The moderator then gives you a partner and you can email them more information and chat about the swap. Then you get to crafting for that person. Its great because you can receive some really personalized items from different people all over the country and world.

I had a great partner and I thought the swap went really well...until today.

I was browsing the most recent posts with pictures. I saw the washcloth and scrubby I made!!! My partner had given it to her partner in the same swap just a different round (when the same swap theme is used they just give it round numbers, some swaps are up to 15 rounds!) It really made me angry. I took my time to make something for her, personal for her! She just re-gifted it. The whole point of this is to CRAFT the item you send specifically for your partner. My guess, she didn't like what I made. I wonder how many of the other things I sent she has re-gifted through swaps. I wonder how many of the items she mailed me weren't even made by her. It is even more upsetting because the things I made are knitted and from what I remember, she didn't knit, only crocheted! So, obviously she didn't make them.

I am now done ranting. It just really bothered me. Above is the picture of what I sent her. I am not a cruel person and I am not going to upset the poor woman who received the package from my old swap partner because she seemed so excited about what she received. I will just tell her anonymously through my blog "You're Welcome!"

Does this deter me from joining another swap? Yes and no. I am sure there have been others who are sharing my feelings right now. I am just going to suck it up. There is too much joy and fun involved in swapping to let this ruin it for me.

An hour a day

Well, at least 45 mins. I am going to try to dedicate at least that amount of my lunch hour to knitting or crocheting for christmas presents! I feel that if I give at least 30 mins of the rest of the work days. I will have approximately 38 hours to get projects well on their way! Wish me luck. I have lot of things I would like to make. Not all of them can be brought into work. Unless they let me set up a sweat shop in the back room with my sewing machine, smelly glues and paint.

Here is what I started:

Give it Away, Now

Some may know, some may not...i like being crafty. Sometimes my craftiness is really not all that awesome. And most the time it's pretty lame. I just think making gifts for someone else, means more than buying something from a store. Many times I feel like its not worth my time. I have crafted things for people, just for the fun of it. I have made them for birthdays, Christmas, etc. Its so much easier to personalize it for that person, but you can still buy something from a store that would be meaningful to them. I am torn.

I have felt let down many times by giving homemade presents. I don't expect people to gawk or to get all excited (then again maybe i do). I am not quite sure anymore how I feel about giving homemade presents. Are store bought presents or gift cards better? They can spend their money on something they really want, instead of something I made and feel like that have to display the ugly thing out of guilt.

I may just go the easy route this year and buy all my presents. Except my mom. A mom can appreciate all the love put into it.

Ocean City, MD - A few thoughts

This is not how I remember. Maybe it is because I am older and my memories from a child are not the same as the events that unfolded on my recent vacation.

The Beach - If you aren't on the beach by 10 am, you have to shuffle through crowds of people to find a spot. Yes, you are close enough to hear about their drunk nights, horrible dinners and how lousy/awesome their hotels are. We were out on the beach all three days. Day one, we watched a woman completely undress her 5 year old (estimated age) on the beach. Brush the sand off her and her private areas, for nearly 4 minutes this girl was nude in the middle of crowds of people. What kind of parent would do this? Give the poor thing a towel! How many perverts were watching, possibly taking pictures. (child pornography is a growing problem in our world). How many little boys were looking and seeing these things that should not be seen at such a young age. Day 2, a little girl also around 5 or 6 just wandering the beach with a watermelon slice in her hand. A woman came up to her - obviously not the mother and consoled her. Walked her to the lifeguard stand and another lifeguard on a 4-wheeler came to pick her up. I guess taking her to the lost childrens area. I am not a mother, but I know I would be running the beach, screaming my childs name the second I did not have them in my radar! We heard no screaming, no frantic people around. We just hope her family found her. Day 3, a cute little girl (maybe 3) playing on the beach in her little mermaid bathing suit. It was around 2pm and the beach was still very crowded. Her family was behind us (about 15 people total). We watched her go towards their spot on the beach, take a sharp turn and started down the beach. A few moments later the father, who was in the water with the son, comes up to the family asking where she was. They all look up and around, very confused. I kindly tell them what direction she headed. They would have never found her if I had not told them which way to go. She was quite a ways down the beach when the father caught up with her. Watch you children! What the hell is wrong with you! There are sick people out there, just because you are in 'good ol' o.c.' doesnt mean its a faily tale land!

Almost every store and restaurant is employeed with Russians and Ukrainians. Working on Visas for the summer. What about the American college students who want a job at the beach? Good luck! A handful of places like the long standing eateries, surf shops and Bull on the Beach, employeed the sun-tanned, surf loving americans. Try ordering fudge at candy kitchen to a someone who speaks limited english. I will admit most of them were very nice and courteous. But a few of the boardwalk store owners were quite rude. Patience is a virtue! I am not a 15 year old trying to steal a shell bracelet. Please don't eagle eye my every move.

Street after street on the boardwalk you are sure to encounter one of the following: guitar players, one man bands, balloon contortionists or a grown man in a Spongebob costume. Two of the nights I saw Darth Vader and Yoda. What halloween store was having a clearance?

Masses of teenagers roam the boardwalk, making out, groping each other. I sure as hell do not remember being 14 and showing such affection to someone I just met on vacation. Where the hell are the parents. Oh, probably at Seacrets making out with their own OC fling.

There were many memorable things from childhood. The rides at the end of the pier. Digging a hole in the sand to bury your family. The trashers fries and taffy and fudge and funnel cake and italian ices! The sand sculpture, which I appreciate the hard work, just not the subject matter. Maybe I have grown old and set in my ways. Like my grandfather who appreciated the old days where you could leave your door unlocked. But places change, generations are not the same as they used to be. I am just grateful I had a good time. I got to enjoy myself. You sometimes just need to block out the things you see that bother you. Ignore the rude people and just keep enjoying each minute you are there. You might not see it again.

Annoying Co-Workers?

YES. I have them.

Those people who like to tell you every little minute of their life since they left you at 5pm the previous day. Who like to tell you everytime they go pee. Who can't fill out a simple form, even though you explained it to them many times before. Who butt into conversations....A+B, C your way out. (remember that). They just can't comprehend the small things.

It's not that I am not a morning person. But my mornings usually consist of kitty lovins. They don't talk. Its a wonderful thing to have a quiet morning all to yourself. I listen to my daily morning radio shows on the way to work. Then, until its 9 am...please leave me alone.

Is it bad that I will turn on my ipod just so I don't have to listen to their stories? Why yes, I am plugged in.

So, in researching how to 'ignore co-workers', I found a few helpful tips. I also found this site. It is quite amusing. Check it out sometime. You might even relate to some of the stories.

http://www.annoyingcoworker.com/

They should make a 'no personal stories at the workplace day.' It would be my most favorite day. Heck, they should just make it Tuesdays. Better yet, Mondays because you know that co-worker wants to tell you ALL about their weekend!

Good luck, I am holding down my 'cubicle'.

Da Hun

Too Comfortable

Have you ever seen those people who just stay with someone because they are 'comfortable'? I mean, they probably do love that person, but not in the romantic sense. More of a love for a friend. I have been there. I had to get myself out of it because it was never going to go in the direction I wanted it. It took alot for me to leave, you still care about the person.

I am dealing with this right now, with someone I care so much about. Shes in an 8 year relationship. She even moved to another state to be with him! She compromised her health. Left her family to live in a state where she knew no one. She has told me many of times how she knows what the right decision is, but there is never any follow through. I really thought that when he told her for the third time that its not right and they need to take separate directions she would actually leave. But she didnt. Its heart wrenching because she can find someone who will love her more, care about her more and treat her like a queen.

They fight, they bicker. It starts as picking on each other like an 8 year old would pick on their crush. But neither can take the sarcasm anymore and it turns into a huge argument!

I wish I knew what else to tell her, but she has to make her own choices. Just as I did 3 years ago.

I hope that either a: they get over themselves and learn to love again, or b: one of them really ommits to ending this battle.

Just like the commercial

Yesterday, while Josh and I were preparing dinner. A bird flew right into the glass of the kitchen window. The thump was so loud even my dad heard it in the other room with the TV on. I had seen him coming out of the corner of my eye. I made Josh rush outside to check if it was laying on the ground. It wasn't.

Funny thing is...this is the window my cats sit, day-in and day-out staring down the birds and squirrels. This guy must have been new the neighborhood.

Other than this...I have no exciting news.

delaying, dilly-dallying and dawdling

A recent absence of my blog is not because of dilly-dallying. I just failed to log on and talk about my life or the things that surround me.

Much has happened, some good, some bad. I will try not to dwell on the bad things., but focus on the things that have changed me. I have always been the kind of person to take a step back, look at the situation from both sides, weigh out the pros and cons and make an evaluation with as much knowledge as possible. Sometimes it is very hard look past what people have done to you. But in the end I hope that I can see that things were meant to happen this way and it should teach me how to be different in future situations.

The one thing in my life that has changed significantly - family. I got the one call I have dreaded for years. April 28, 2009 - Pop was rushed to the hospital. When I arrived at the ER, I knew it was the end. I have blogged many times on myspace about his health and our relationship.

**This is a blog from march 2005 that I posted... I just thought it would be appropriate to include it here**

About a man who calls me 'worm'
My grandfather or Pop--I love this man with all my heart. His birthday was in January and well I didn't even know what to get him. I went through all our photo albums and found so many pictures of him and i. I wanted to make something special from the pictures. But all my ideas went down the drain nothing was working. I ended up buying him lottery tickets. He won alot more than what i paid for them too.

You may ask:1. Why does he call you worm?

2. Why did you write a blog about him starting from something that happened 2 months ago?

Answer to number 1: My grandfather has called me worm ever since i can remember. I was always his little worm. I was his first girl grandchild. Sometimes i think i am his favorite too. Although he HATES my tattoos. I never asked him why he calls me worm. I have always just been his worm; no questions asked.

Answer to number 2: I don't know why i started with that. It just popped into my head. I do have a reason for writing this. He is my only grandparent left. I actually never met my grandparents on my dads side. My gran died 4 years ago and well my pop has been doing well without her. They say when one passes the other goes down hill. Well hes been alright. A few heart problems, but hell hes been dealing with those since 1977. Last night i went over there to pick up some stuff my mom left for me there. My grandfather is talking to me and then he says come here...so i walk over there and he has his hands cupped like he has something in them. My pop is a big joker so i thought he was just messing with me. So i told him I'm not gonna grab for whats in his hands, just to give it over. Well he gives me this necklace outta the blue! For no reason. Its such a beautiful chain and it has a tiny guardian angel on it. "You still like angels right?""Yes pop, I love them". I never really thought about it, but he is my hero. He was in the army for years. Served in our wars. Experienced earth quakes. Had 8 Children. Drove a hook and ladder in the fire department. Had to watch one of his own children pass before him. Have a marriage that lasted decades. Still works even though he don't get paid. Was told he wouldn't live past the year 1982 and hes STILL here!!!

"His teeth are like the stars they come out at night" -Quoted by Aquilla da Hun - age 7.

My grandfather had his first open heart surgery in 1977 . The doctors told him he wouldn't live another few years. I am sure he outlived those doctors. Many surgeries, many hospital stays, hundreds of medications and 32 years later, that phone call. He had suffered a major heart attack. Only the slightest brain function - that was telling his body to breathe. He would never be the Pop we all remembered. He was being kept alive on a machine. The hardest couple days of my life followed. The family fighting, crying, threatening each other. All the while trying to figure out what to do. I knew what he didn't want...to be on a machine. The time came and most the family agreed to take him off. The others - they were just greedy. Trying to keep him alive, and for what? He would never look in your eyes. You would never hear his voice. I never lost hope that a 'miracle' could happen. I was scrutinized by my family because of my outlook on the situation. Frowned upon because I was a strong believer in following his wishes - not to be kept alive by machine. But I knew, he was not there anymore. Watching his body struggle for air. Never knowing if that was his last breath. Rubbing his cold feet because it was his favorite thing when he was stuck in a hospital bed. He stayed around for another two days and passed on May 3rd. We buried him 4 days before my birthday.

Putting together the celebration of life photo album, it made me realize how grateful I was to even have him in my life. He could have died before I was even born.

I still have not been to the house where he lived. (sorry Aunt Donna) I still sometimes think it never happened. It was all a dream. But it wasn't. Death brings out the worst in families. I am thankful not to be experiencing it first hand, since I am a grandchild and not one of his children. I am also thankful to think about this kind of situation in my future. I am an only child. I will not have to fight other people for the 'fortunes' my parents will leave me. But I will have to go that road alone. I will not have the comfort of a siblings shoulder to cry on. (Once again, pros and cons).

I would like to think that this would bring our family together. I fear, it is only pushing us further apart. I just hope that he is not looking down upon his family and seeing all the hate and fighting. I just think of all the fond memories I have had with my Pop. That is what everyone should think of. A material object like money or his favorite shirt or pillow, means nothing. If only those people could see more clearly at the things that mean the most. Family.